Old people can think fast…

An elderly man in Tennessee had owned a large farm for several years..

He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “we’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Some old guys can still think fast.

WELLYWOOD or bust?

I’m not sure if you’ve been following the saga, but it’s pretty bloody tragic…

They want to erect a huge sign on the Miramar hills which says WELLYWOOD. Just like the Hollywood sign.

I have a few words for that:

  • lame
  • tacky
  • rip-off
  • embarassing
  • lame
  • so so so so so tacky
  • cringe

I really wish there was an article in the herald, because Stuff like to take their shit off their site within a few days and then charge you to use it. So I’ll just have to steal a few bits and pieces from them for “record keeping purposes”. ;)

Here’s what our mayor had to say, and I’m quoting from the stuff.co.nz article:

Ms Prendergast said the Wellywood sign was backed by Weta Workshop boss Richard Taylor and movie director Jackson.

“Peter was really clear about it being an exact copy of the Hollywood sign because he wanted it to be a send-up. He and Richard epitomise creativity and innovation in this city and I’m going to go with their judgment.”

MY GOD WOMAN, ARE YOU MAD? Just because Peter and Richard say it’s a good idea doesn’t automatically make it a good idea! She’s crazy. Copying the Hollywood sign is not “creativity” or “innovation”. It’s plagiarism lady! I hope she reads the fucking paper, because most of Wellington – if not all, bar a few crazies – want us to bin this idea before it’s even started. Unfortunately the land is privately owned by our airport and they want to do it, so they get the say. But as we own a huge stake in that airport – council does anyway – does that mean we may have a chance to stop this thing before it happens?

It’s just so cringe worthy. It’s been done to death by others (see the wikipedia article on the list of Hollywood inspired nicknames). We are so much better than that, surely?

But, if they do decide to go ahead, here is a better idea!

And an even better one is courtesy of Leon, he’s so creative ^_^

There are some beautiful quotes in the comments on the stuff website. Let’s steal a few!

They should put one over the Cake Tin too saying “Cake Tin” and one over the Beehive saying “Beehive” and one over Mount Vic saying “Mount Vic” and one over any other landmark they can find. Because signs are cool. Especially when they are big like that one in Hollywood.

Think about how useful that would be if you’re trying to get somewhere. Right on the hill over to the nui WAINUIOMATA, and then we could have more that say PAK N SAVE and in Kaiwharawhara one saying THE GORGE.

Wellington 20 years behind Mosgiel!

Ouch! :o

They should also put a garish massive neon sign at the entrance to Rotorua that says “Roto-Vegas” as obviously NZ towns don’t have their own identity and strive to be like the US.

Haha, Roto-Vegas. So true. Or a big sign on the hill going into Stokes Valley saying “Stokes Vegas”. That’s fantastic. If we’re gonna do this, let’s fucking DO IT DAMNIT!

Just so damn lame. really cringe-worthy stuff, im tempted to become a vandalist.

Me too man. Don’t worry, if this goes ahead everyone will be up there with their spray cans. The Warehouse and Mitre10 Mega will need bigger lists of paper to put spray can names down. So many of us will buy them that they’ll never know who did it.

And, we better have a pro-sign quote I guess.

“I think it’s a fantastic idea! Let’s celebrate Wellington’s amazing successes in the film industry! C’mon, get behind it, and put Wellington on the international map as an fabulous and vibrant destination!” Trish Bullard

Trish, you are fail. I bet you live in Auckland just want us to bum ourselves out.

Man, what are we going to do? I think we’ll all have to either move, turn into terrorists or just become vandals and rip the fecking thing down. :D

There are a couple of groups you can join if you want to get in on the fun. This one is the biggest: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=354085372690&ref=mf

I’m gonna go lolnesspants to myself for the rest of the week now! ;D

B xx

Awww no QQ ;)

Hello!

An Asian rice shop called QQ Rice? Hehe, that’s awesome.

I was catching a bus back to work aftera meeting on the other side of town and I was like WOOHOO cos it was daylight and I could take a photo of this place for you:

*snorts* Brilliant ;D

And here’s another one just for kicks: